Sometimes being an adult is so hard.

My Dearest Katie,
On February 6th, 2010 my life changed forever when we found out you were on your way. Our dream came to fruition when you arrived on this earth September 24th, 2010 at 1:51pm. At 7lbs 6oz and 19 inches long, we were relieved to find out that you were healthy despite coming into the world almost 4 weeks early. It was a long road to get you here healthy and happy, but one I would not change. I developed issues with my blood pressure early on (even if the doctors didn't notice until much later) and in the end was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. As a result I spent the last several weeks of your time in the belly on bed rest at home. Up until that point both your daddy and I worked very hard to save money to buy the things you needed. We did our best to prepare.
Speaking of your daddy, you should know what a hard working, amazing and caring man he is and how much he loves you. Half way through the pregnancy daddy started working 60-70 hour work weeks to help us get extra money fast. Daddy is still working long weeks so that we can get debt paid off and so that at some point mommy can stay home with you.
I want you to know how badly mommy wanted to be home with you. At first it took a lot of getting used to. I'd never been a mommy before and it was pretty overwhelming, but as time went on you grew into this little person with her own little personality. You are continuing to change each day, but I want you to know how much I enjoy your company. You are a sweet and wonderful baby girl. We are so thrilled and honored to be your parents.
Right now you are nearly 7 weeks old. Sometimes it seems the days stretch and blur together, other times I am shocked that you are nearly 2 months old. I want to soak up every moment I can with you because I know that these moments are so short before you are grown.
I have been struggling for the last week with deciding if I should go back to work. Daddy and I did the math tonight and it is looking like at least for a little while I will have to go back to work full time to help cover the bills. It makes my heart ache to think of being away from you for so long. You are changing so much every day, and I don't want to miss an instant. But sometimes, being an adult is very hard and you have to do things you don't want to do. Please know if I had it my way I would never leave your side. But as it is, it looks like I'm going to have to leave you for 40 hours a week, just until daddy and I can pay a couple of bills off. I want you to know that we are doing this for you, and for your future. We don't want you to remember a time where we had to struggle. While there are people who struggle far more than we do, we want to make sure that going forward we can provide you all the things you need and a lot of what you want.
You are so very loved. This is going to be very hard for me. I will be looking to you for my strength. You are who I live and breath for now. I do not want to leave you, but if I have to please know that I will thinking of you every minute, and working very hard to be back with you as soon as I can. All your daddy and I want for you is to be happy and healthy. This is our journey as a family.

We love you sweet baby girl,
love Mommy.