That lovely thing above speaks the truth. I'm pregnant. I didn't expect to be typing these words. After the last post I quickly got my period (Jan 11). haha. I found out after the fact that based on my periods (which have ranged anywhere from 25-32 days between) that I had most likely missed my window of ovulation by a few days. D'oh.
While on my period last month, I did a lot of thinking and a lot of going back and forth about should we or shouldn't we. We talked about it and decided to forge ahead. But I was skeptical anything would happen.
As I mentioned in the last post I was working to get off of pristiq. I am complete off now and have been since middle of last month. Let me tell you, the last week where I went code turkey was horrible!!! I mean , I felt like a drug addict I was so sick. I got migranes and was naseous the entire day. For 3 days in a row I went to bed as soon as I got home and didn't get up until the next morning. All totaled it took me 2 1/2 weeks of every other day, and 8 days of cold turkey to finally get the junk out of my system. Let just say... as good as it work I hope I never had to take it again...
But back to the baby news! Because I had been nothing but a ball of nerves in January and had phantom symptoms over EVERYTHING. In February, because I was convinced I wasn't going to get pregnant, I didn't really pay much attention to any "symptoms".
I noticed that my breats were tender again but after the previous month I didn't give it much thought. In January about 4 days before I got my period the breast pain went away and I realized my temp had dropped. This month they hurt consistently the entire time, and I kept waiting for them to stop. Now it has not been the excrutiating pain some women describe, just the typical pms sore boobs for me.
On Tuesday Feb 2nd, I noticed some spotting. Not enough to even get on a panty liner, but more of a few red streaks when I wiped after using the rest room. I thought for sure I was just have another short cycle and accepted that my period was coming, and I was going to stop trying for a few months. But then my period didn't come. This did peak my interest some what.
Then this past Wednesday (about a week ago) I had a job interview but because of my weight gain during my depression I didn't have interview slacks that fit. I made a trip to the local kohl's and to my horror found I could not button the size I thought I wore... up and up the sizes went until I had to purchase a size 14. Looking back I now realize it was bloating.
So between those symptoms and the fact that we had in fact had unprotected sex, I decided I was going to test sometime over the course of last weekend.
At around 3:40am I woke up because I had to pee. I figured since I was up I'd go ahead and pee on a stick, and promptly put my negative in the trash, and go on about my life. Except that after taking the test I started to notice a line. Now , I've seen plenty of negative tests, I'm very familiar with what they look like as I tend the be the "oh crap am I pregnant" all the time type. This was different and though the line was faint (it was a dollar store cheapie) there was a line. I felt my blood pressure shoot up. I told myself this was possibly an evaporation line... though... it appeared to be the same color.... no it couldn't be an evaporation line. I started to get excited, and took another (I tend to use a cup and dip rather than pee on the stick.... I don't ever want to be in the situation where theres a question and I'm freaking out cause there's no more pee! haha) and there was another line, though just as faint , if not more faint than before. So I took a 3rd (yes I know its getting a bit ridiculous here) and again another line. At this point I woke up my husband and told him I needed him to come with me, to which he replied "What, now?" slightly grumpy that I woke him up. I took him to the bathroom where the tests were displayed and asked him if he saw a line. He said he did. I ask him if he knew what it meant, he said it meant I might be pregnant. Then we went back to bed. He proceeded to fall asleep quickly. I however, layed there with my mind racing unable to sleep. I decided I was going to buy more tests to confirm. I left the house at 7am and went to walmart. I purchashed first response, clear blue easy digital, and an equate brand. I also decided to pick up more dollar store test since it was the brand I had originally seen the line on.
Around 1pm on Saturday I finally built up the nerve (and the pee haha) to test again and used a first response. That 2nd line showed up much quicker than it had with the dollar store tests. Success! Then... I decided to test fate and use a digital, which are known for being less sensitive. I dipped the stick, watched the little hour glass blink, and held my breath. I needed to see it, regardless of having already done 5 tests at that point. I needed to see the word. And then there it was, PREGNANT. And it was good. :)
So, what have I done since then? Well,... first I stressed about how likely it was that I was going to have a chemical pregnancy. I just felt like it was too easy. Not to mention I'd been reading on these boards where so many women struggle and lose babies, and have chemical pregnancy. Needless to say I freaked myself out.
For the first 2 days it was real, but not real. And so I continued to pee on sticks just to make sure I was in fact still pregnant. Here I am 4 day since I found out, just now starting to realize this could be the real deal and that in October of 2010 I could very well be a mama. I hope that is the case. I'm still nervous about all the what ifs. I'm trying not to think about it, because the reality is there will always be a what-if. There will always be something to be scared of. I want to enjoy this. My husband wants to enjoy it, so I'm trying to have some faith that it will all work out ok. :)
We've decided to tell our families this coming Friday and Saturday. We figure while it is pretty early, if something does happen we will need their support. With Valentine's day coming up, we bought them valentines cards addressed from the baby. I can't wait to see what their reactions are.
I also made a doctor's appointment with a midwife, it is on Feb. 23rd. So here's to then, and here's to an uneventful next couple of weeks. Grow baby grow! :)
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